How to cope with Uncertainty
It can feel like the world around us keeps changing at the moment. This can leave us feeling uncertain and worried at times, and this can take its toll on your mental wellbeing.
If you feel anxious during times of change or uncertainty it could be that your coping skills could do with a boost.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said
“People are not disturbed by things, but the view they hold about them.”
Uncertainty itself is not scary, it is the view that we take of uncertainty that scares us. Whether it be the pandemic, trying something new or any situation that you feel uncertain about, it is how you respond to the event that matters. When something happens that is out of your control, the one thing you can always control is your response to it. Trying to control the uncontrollable only leads to anxiety and stress.
Here are five things that you can do to protect yourself from anxiety during times of change:
1) Let go of the need to control outcomes
Choose instead to focus energy on the small things that you can control, and build your ability to tolerate the natural discomfort of the unknown. When you believe in your ability to cope regardless, you process events with perspective and objectivity, and immediately your anxiety reduces.
2) Understand that no two people experience the same reality
We all experience reality filtered through our belief systems, thinking styles, attitudes and cognitive biases. We all view things from our own perspectives, so it’s about your interpretation. When you understand this, you can adjust your response accordingly.
3) Imagine the best
When we visualise things going well, the best they possibly can (even difficult situations), your brain is primed to think that you’re safe, it knows what it’s doing and that you’re not in any danger. The skill of visualisation (or rehearsal) enables you to trick your brain into thinking things have already happened, by creating new neural pathways. Our nervous system is relaxed and we give ourselves the best possible chance to perform to the best of our abilities.
4) Face our fears
Avoiding things that we fear might feel like we are protecting ourselves and avoiding anxiety, but in actual fact we are just reinforcing the belief that we can’t cope in that situation. This leads to more avoidance, and poorer coping skills as a result. When we tolerate a bit of anxiety, and process it well afterwards, we increase our coping skills.
5) Challenge unhelpful thoughts and emotions
Emotions don’t just happen to you, they are created by the way you choose to think and respond to a situation. Thoughts are not facts, nor are emotions. Just because you feel scared, doesn’t mean a situation is scary. Just because you feel stressed, doesn’t mean the situation is stressful. The second you start believing your emotions, you justify your response and you lose the ability to gain another, perhaps more helpful perspective.
Next month I will be discussing why our mental health seems to be getting worse in the face of modern living (and ways you can counteract this).